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Saturday, November 30th, 2024

I think I am officially caught up! I am trying my best to keep up with things, but life has a way of being cruel from time to time, and I am fighting myself a lot right now.

Today I have one addition to the site, as well as several updates from pages that I added last time. The new addition this time around is for Jayden, as she participated in her schools powderpuff game on the 20th, but I forgot to add it last time. I have also added all of the recaps and captions for the rest of Jayden's soccer games - both high school and club games. I have also recapped and captioned the two incomplete Disney trips that I added to the site last time around.

If it has been a while since your last visit to our site, please check out the Update List page to see what you may have missed out on! This page contains a chronological listing of all of the updates that have been made this year. As always, please enjoy the site and come back often. Thanks for visiting!

"It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you moved on"

"It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
'Cause I'm not fine at all"

"And the dreams you left behind, you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
'Cause I'm not fine at all"
- Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer

Since nobody really reads this site, I am going to utilize this space to dump some of my feelings, since I really don't have anybody that I can turn to to discuss it.

Last night sucked. I literally bawled for a good 30 minutes straight. Not a little crying, but bawling like I have never done. Maybe not since my grandparents passed away, anyway.

The worst part is that I am not sure why. Well, I know why. It was a realization that I miss my best friend dearly. I miss talking to my best friend, listening to my best friend, holding my best friends hand, sharing meals with my best friend, hugging and cuddling my best friend, holding my best friend in my arms as I felt them drift further and further into their sleep, dreaming about the future with my best friend. Combine that with my loneliness now, and what is certain to be loneliness for the remainder of my future, and it just became too much.

And though I try to convince myself that we could never be best friends again, the reality is that I would forgive everything in a heartbeat just to have that with them once again.

I prayed for the pain to end, but I woke up this morning…

Monday, November 25th, 2024

Once again I am late in getting the website updated. I am trying my best, but life has been a tad overwhelming for me lately.

This update will center around adding the pages and pictures from recent events as I work my way through the recaps and picture captions. New additions to the website today include the addition of pictures from my trips to Walt Disney World in October and November, as well as several of Jayden's high school and club soccer games. I will circle back around and wrap up the updates soon.

"Sick of this life, not that you'd care
I'm not the only one with whom these feelings, I share
Nobody understands quite why we're here
We're searching for answers that never appear"
- Dead Horse by Guns N' Roses

Since nobody really reads this site, I am going to utilize this space to dump some of my feelings, since I really don't have anybody that I can turn to to discuss it.

30 years. You know and love somebody for 30+ years. See them, talk to them, touch them, share intimate hopes, dreams, moments, mundane stuff too virtually every day. Everything you have, closer than family. Then, one day, it's over. No communication. No concern. Not a care in the world. Just, nothing. Like I meant to them.

At least I know how little I truly meant to them over the years. I find it amazing just how little you can mean to somebody who truly meant the world to you for so long. Not even allowed to show concern over them. This is how I know I'm better off now. It’s amazing just how easily you're forgotten, but not forgiven.

I tried. I tried my very best. I failed. Again and again. Now there is no need to try any longer. It's time to accept my failure and live with it for the remainder of my life. Alone.

The feeling of human body contact (from holding hands, to kissing, to cuddling, to sex) is one of the most incredible feelings one can experience. I don’t find joy or excitement in having sex with random people, but life is so much better with love, sex, and the beauty of having someone that cares about you, and also giving that care back to someone.

I guess that ship has sailed…

If it has been a while since your last visit to our site, please check out the Update List page to see what you may have missed out on! This page contains a chronological listing of all of the updates that have been made this year. As always, please enjoy the site and come back often. Thanks for visiting!

Thursday, November 14th, 2024

Once again there has been a delay between my updates. I am trying my best, but life has a way of being overwhelming from time to time.

If you visited the website recently, you may have read that Tara and I are no longer together and in the process of a divorce. I am not at liberty to discuss it, but know that it has been difficult for me. With each passing day I am learning that it is for the best for me, even if I am not looking forward to the years of loneliness that lie ahead. This will be the last I mention this on the website, and I appreciate the respect of my privacy during this trying time.

This update primarily involves the captions and game recaps of the events that I missed last time. New additions to the website include the addition of pictures from our time enduring Hurricane Milton, our short-lived time with a pet squirrel, as well as more events for Jayden - her final homecoming dance, her senior pictures at the studio for the school, and her high school soccer games.

"Who told you you were hard to love? (Hard to love)
Who told you you weren't good enough? (Good enough)
Who broke your heart and made you believe
That you won't be anything without her? (They better watch their back)"
- More Than Enough Song by Sarah Reeves

Sunday, November 10th, 2024

Sorry for the delay between updates. I am trying my best, but a lot has gone on in the time since I was able to last post an update.

The first thing you may have noticed is the new name of the website. Tara of RodandTara has decided that she is no longer happy in the marriage, so we are working towards a (hopefully) amicable divorce. Not exactly the choice I would have made, but I really wasn't given any other option - it was choice A, divorce, or choice B, divorce. I won't be eliminating her presence from the website, but you will notice a lot less of her moving forward.

I have added a bunch of pictures from Jayden's Tampa Dynamo games, but the captions and game recaps are still to come. I also have other events that I haven't even gotten around to adding to the site, including two of her Riverview Lady Sharks high school games from this past week. Hopefully I will be able to keep working on them and get myself caught up soon. Unfortunately for me, sleep and motivation have been lacking lately.

"Think I forgot how to be happy
Something I'm not, but something I can be
Something I wait for
Something I'm made for"
 - What Was I Made For? Song by Billie Eilish

If it has been a while since your last visit to our site, please check out the Update List page to see what you may have missed out on! This page contains a chronological listing of all of the updates that have been made this year. As always, please enjoy the site and come back often. Thanks for visiting!

Saturday, September 28th, 2024

With today's soccer game postponed due to field conditions (thanks Hurricane Helene!), this update only consists of Jayden's most recent soccer scrimmage. Follow the Update! icons to find the latest event. Until next time!

Saturday, September 21st, 2024

Although later than I hoped, I finally have Jayden's second soccer game of the club season added to the site. Head on over to Jayden's page under Current Events to see the latest. Until next time!

Wednesday, September 11th, 2024

Soccer season has begun, so I am going to do my best to keep things up to date (even though I don't have a lot faith in myself in being able to do so). Today I have two updates - one trip to Disney with my parents on September 6th, and Jayden's first Tampa Dynamo soccer game on September 8th. Head on over to the Current Events page for the latest!

Wednesday, September 4th, 2024

Once again, it has been a while since I last updated the site, and I have a few additions to share with you this time around. Because it has been so long, and because I have been working so hard to catch up, I am going to skip a big recap of the updates here and I will just send you to the Update List page below for the updates this time.

Friday, June 28th, 2024

It has been a while since I last updated the site, and I have a few additions to share with you this time around. Up first, we went on some college tours for Jayden while in Michigan, and I have shared my photos from those tours on Jayden's Current Events page.

We also made a couple of visits to Walt Disney World for the Tiana's Bayou Adventure Passholder previews. You can read about our trips by going to the Current Events page and clicking on Walt Disney World.

Wednesday, May 29th, 2024

Just one update this time around, thanks to another visit to Walt Disney World. On May 19th, Tara, Samantha, Jayden and I headed over to Epcot to spend the day together. Click on the Current Events link above or below, then Walt Disney World, and finally May 19th to see and read about our latest trip.

Wednesday, May 15th, 2024

Just one update this time around, thanks to another visit to Walt Disney World. On May 4th Jayden and I headed over to the Magic Kingdom to meet up with Grandma Terry, Uncle Steven, Aunt Julie, my cousin Dana as well as kids Abby, Jacob, and Juliana. Click on the Current Events link above or below, then Walt Disney World, and finally May 4th to see and read about our latest trip.

Monday, April 29th, 2024

It has been nearly two months since I last posted any updates, though not entirely due to not having anything to post. We took what will probably be our last "family" trip to Walt Disney World in March, as Drew wrapped up his first co-op term of work for school, and Jayden was on spring break. I say "family" because Tyler was unable to join us from Michigan, and Samantha was only able to meet up with us for one day.

With all that being said, I finally managed to sit down and get the pages for our visit updated. You can check out the pictures from our trip by going to the Current Events page and then following the Update! and New! icons until you get to the Spring Break link on the Walt Disney World page.

Friday, February 24th, 2024

Just a quick note to myself to remind myself of what was added to the website over the course of the past month since my last update...

Two updates this time around, both from Jayden's activities. Up first was a friends birthday party on February 17th, followed by the high school soccer banquet on February 22nd. You can find both new pages on Jayden's Current Events page.

Thursday, February 15th, 2024

Just a quick note to myself to remind myself of what was added to the website over the course of the past month since my last update...

The additions start with a trip to Walt Disney World that Jayden and I took with Grandma Terry and Uncle Steven. A second trip took place later, when Tara & I went on my birthday. You can find both of these visits by going to the Current Events page and clicking on the Walt Disney World link. Jay and her Riverview Lady Sharks high school soccer team wrapped up their time on the field this season with their final game, a district playoff game on January 24th. She and her Tampa Dynamo soccer teammates also participated in the Brandon Cup soccer tournament over the weekend of January 26th-28th (though she didn't get to finish the tournament due to a sprained ankle that has kept her out of action for the past few weeks). You can find all of her soccer updates by going to the Jayden Current Events page and following both of the respective team links.

Friday, January 19th, 2024

A belated Happy New Year to all of our visitors (which admittedly probably isn't anyone but me)! I hope that you had an amazing 2023 and that 2024 is off to a great start.

We have been busy since my last update over a month ago. Tara, Tyler, Rose, and Drew came to town to celebrate Christmas with us, which you can see by going to both the 2023 Past Events page as well as the Current Events page (at least for a few updates, anyway). While they were here, we also visited the Florida Botanical Gardens in Largo and the Manatee Viewing Center in Apollo Beach. You will find those on the 2023 Past Events page and the Current Events page as well. Moving into 2024's events, we have two games for Jayden's Tampa Dynamo soccer team, as well as a single game for her Riverview Lady Sharks high school soccer team. You can see those updates by following the Jayden link on the Current Events page.

If it has been a while since your last visit to our site, please check out the Update List page to see what you may have missed out on! This page contains a chronological listing of all of the updates that have been made this year. As always, please enjoy the site and come back often. Thanks for visiting!


 

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